Amnesia.

Constant moral dilemmas and choices are the factors that gave humanity chance to be what it is now. I am no different. Constant search for what is right or wrong. Attempts to understand reality and people around me. Being just a drop in an ocean of history and trying to make difference. to make CHANGE happen, to leave my mark. Days when hope turns me in resilient fighter, days when i’m frustrated because CHANGE seems distant and so difficult to achieve, days when i lost my faith due to all that surrounds me. I don’t believe in destiny, I believe into ones ability to make life different, better or worse. But, sometimes i can’t stop questioning myself “God, why you sent me to the land you long forsake? Are you even there? Is it destiny? Is it your twisted joke or some kind of perverted experiment? How come you all-knowing and almighty sent me here? What I did to deserve this? Do I have the power to change or should i suffer through all this?” Naturally, no one answers me.

Intelligence is a blessing. But its curse too. Thought  should help  in achieving CHANGE. But right now it only helps to measure wild and gargantuan strength of tide that I”m going against. Questions. Millions of them. I know that i’m nobody to judge. But who can judge if not me? Those who are just too afraid to know? Those who are frightened not only to do something, but even to think? Those bastards who drink blood of those afraid? Ain’t those who are fighting against obscurantism only once with moral right to judge?

I’m far from ideal. I’m not knight in the shining armor, despite all eagerness to be one. But I see myself fit to judge. They say that “don’t judge, lest  you be judged”. I don’t agree with that Christian postulate. I’m judging and I’m ready to be judged. Truth is not in the silence of no-judgment, but somewhere in heated discussion, in just fight, in quest for ideals. No action can’t bring truth. I won’t be silent. It doesn’t imply that my words will bring absolute truth, but may be discussion that they will provoke?

Life situations that i faced recently gave me cold shower and I won’t pretend that I know human soul and psychology well.

During today’s hearing of “Wild-beating-taekwando-champions-bloggers-Adnan-and-Emin” case I was able to enter courtroom for the first time. Mixed feelings of what was happening. I saw Emin and Adnan, saw how strong they are. And this made me happy and proud. I had dozen or so rounds of laugh in the expense of “victims” Vusal and Babek. I was annoyed as hell.

Azercell answered to enquiry of the court and gave reports on calls made on July 8 by “victims” and Adnan. Strangely there was no report of Emin’s calls. But, anyway, reports of Adnan’s calls shows that he was in the 39th police station. This little fact demolishes the case of the prosecutor. This shows that Adnan and Emin weren’t brought to police station handcuffed. They came there right after the incident to file a report on Vusal and Babek. Of course this report is MIA.  Pictures from medical expertise prove that Adnan and Emin actually were in 39th police station.  So, prosecutor and his owners should try their best to find some shame in their hearts, go somewhere far, far away and bury themselves along with their case/cheap soap opera scenario.

What annoyed me most was that “victims” (deliberately) tried their best whispers while they were questioned. Emin asked them to speak loudly 2 times. On the third time he said: “Vusal, please speak louder, you are the hero of this system, find some courage to speak louder.  Don’t be afraid”. Man, that line should have been used in Iliad or some other heroic epos. Pure gold. Few minutes later Emin played little game with Vusal. He twisted and played and then asked: “Vusal, can i beat you?” Vusal answered: “No, only in science fiction”. HOLY TRUTH! What happens in Azerbaijan is so surreal and absurd it can’t be called anything but science fiction.

Vusal and Babek were under heavy artillery of questions by skilled advocates Isakhan Ashurov and Elton Guliyev. But, they were prepared “better” by their creators this time. They answered “I don’t remember” on so many questions, that i actually lost my count on 20 or so. I will give you few examples, but promise me you won’t laugh too hard and die or sink into darkest depression ever and kill your lovely selves. I still need my readers. Question: “Have you filed a report?” Answer: “I don’t remember.” Question: “Were you questioned by inspector?” Answer: “I don’t remember.” Question: “How many times were you examined by doctor?” Answer: “I don’t remember.”… And icing on the cake: “Can you tell if your doctor was male or female?” Answer: “I DON’T REMEMBER!” (Please, no “transsexual jokes” on my blog, thanks).

Then Vusal showed that he is “real Caucasian man” with valor and strong feeling of “qeyret”. He asked judge not to give Azercell’s report on his calls to defense. “I don’t want them to disturb my relatives and those close to me”.  Advocates, after few chuckles, told him that they are sorry, but they don’t think that they and Vusal’s relatives are in the same social circles. But, naturally, judge is “real Caucasian man” too, so he understood Vusal’s tender feelings and was with him on that.

Anyways. Amnesia. Adnan and Emin answered few questions after Vusal and Babek and they were so clear and accurate, contrast was almost scary. Moral choices are those that stay with you forever. While immoral choices are those one tries to forget. Moral choices create responsibility to go with them, while immoral choices are accompanied by amnesia and sudden loss of memory. You can’t make immoral choice and then live with it easily. Conscious sooner or later will catch you and it will show you no love.

It’s not only about Vusal and Babek. Our nation made countless immoral choices in last 20 years. And all this made our nation went into amnesia. It’s natural reaction to immoral choices. But there are people who are Conscious of the nation due to their moral choices and eternal love to this nation that hardly deserves this love. People like Emin and Adnan who made their choice and are proudly standing by it. Who will not back off.  We should help their case. Only this way this nation will shake its AMNESIA.

L4L

P.S. I was writing this post listening to my favorite Azerbaijani rock band “OZAN” playing live at Crossroads pub in Baku. Great inspiration and even greater anti-depressant after the court hearing.

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